Saturday, October 27, 2007

Waiting for our blessed Hope

Hello All! I am sorry I have been silent for some time. I am 34 weeks pregnant now. Life is slowing down for me in many respects and speeding up in others. I am slower moving now and it takes longer to accomplish tasks that are normally quite quick. The " to do" list I had at 20 weeks is not all getting done, in that respect time is flying by. I have been here before, I must let it go. The world doesn't end because all the closets aren't perfectly organized : )

I am half excited to meet Hope soon and the my other half is wanting her to stay safe where she is. This world is unfair, ugly, and often times so painful that I want to protect her from it all. I know it is also beautiful, always whispering of it's creator, and full of joy. I know that both these aspects of our world are part of it. I also have accepted only God can protect Hope. My motherly protection can only go so far. It is in the experience of the joy and pain of this life that choices are made about the truth of this world and eternity. It is with both excitement and trepidation that I welcome Hope. I wish I could shield her always from the bad of this world, the pain. It is in God's hands now. Her first breaths, first smiles, first laughs, first steps, and first hurts are all in his hands now. All have been written down in his book before one has been played out in time. God please be with Hope and me as you prepare her to cross over from life pre-birth to her first breath. Please protect us both and God please give us your grace to face the outcome. The outcome that you have known since before time began.

Psalm 139:13-16 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, everyone of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

Love you all- Crystal