Who is it Lord?

Hello All! Well today I have wondered who is my child Lord? What road do we need to take to arrive at the place where we meet the child you have for us? Or is it children? Could it be more than one child? What is your dream for us Lord? I have fears, insecurities and confusion. SHHHH, I think the Lord says to me, wait and listen. I will reveal my will to you in my time, I will be glorified and I am at work. When we started the process in Sierra Leone in September of 2004 we had a referral for an 18 month old toddler girl and in the end we switched countries and genders. So we know God will let us know how to proceed from here. I just don't want any second guessing. I ask for clarity and wisdom in discerning steps to take or when not to take a step at all. I still feel a loss for the little girl with the big brown eyes from Sierra Leone and I think I always will. God doesn't promise a pain free and care free life does he?
2 Corinthians 4 : 7-10 --But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to GOD and not us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.-- Wow, that is powerful!! God you are magnificent!! Love, Crystal