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Monday, November 2, 2009

Thoughts on life as we begin the Foreign Service


I cannot believe it is already November. Where did October go? On November 12th we will have lived in Virginia for two months. The time has flown by in some respects, but at the same time certain days have dragged on like the movie "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray.




Let me preface this next statement with a disclaimer. I am truly an optimist, at best, a realist at worst.
This time in northern Virginia has been the hardest parenting of my life. Harder then when my husband was in Uganda for seven weeks to bring home our son, Timmy. During that time I was at home in Michigan praying for all to go well and his return to be quick. I was responsible for all four of our children during his absence, but let's just be real the oldest three were in school quite a bit.
That was a cakewalk compared to the BIG city with five kids under eight years old, living in a small apartment, and burning through large sums of money on food like it was growing on the ugly fake ficus tree in our temporary apartment. I miss my support systems I had set up over the four years living in Michigan. We had a wonderful church family, a small very family friendly Christian school that the "Big Three" attended, great friends, mentors and surrogate grandparents, Kelly's amazing co-workers at his office, My side of the family close by, our favorite restaurants, playgrounds, beaches and our home. I have been stripped bare my friends, truly bare. O.K., so that would be somewhat dramatic.


I still have those things that are important to me, my God, my husband, my beautiful children, safety, a nice temporary apartment, and coffee (I miss my birds terribly). This time has taught me many things. The first lesson is a spiritual one. God wants me to give all of this concern and control to him, to lean on him alone, daily, hourly and moment to moment. It is easy when you are comfortable to remain comfortable. It is easy to think, I don't need to ask God, I have "so and so" I can share this with. I highly recommend breaking out of your comfort zone, I have found in my own life God is always there with me as I show up lost, wandering and wondering what to do next.


Each day as I have been pondering my total dependence on God, I have also watched my homeless friends that live on the park benches across the street. There are days I have been down, it is raining and I am trapped in a three bedroom apartment with five rambunctious children, and no car to escape.
It is usually then that I notice one of my friends all covered up on the benches near the library, most likely freezing in the cold rain. God can reveal to you what your perspective should be in his still quiet voice. He is homeless and alone, I am RICH (by most of the world's standards and have everything I need and much more) and have my best friends living with me. He is cold, I am hot. Even little bodies produce large amounts of body heat especially in a small apartment 18 stories up, heat truly does rise. He has all his earthly possessions in that cart, I have them stored in a warehouse in Virginia getting ready to be shipped overseas. It is about this point as I talk to God in my mind and he encourages me to rethink my pity party. He is always patient with this wretch, after all he has time in the palm of his hand. He graciously teaches each lesson.
Is life ideal here for me, no. Has it taught me big lessons, yes! I pray I will always appreciate the people who educate my children. Do you know how hard it is to home school? I am struck as I type this maybe my teacher gifts we gave for Christmas last year weren't enough for all the work they had done with my kids. Do you take your outdoor "green space" for granted? We have a three foot wide balcony. I am being prepared for the desert.
God has an amazing sense of humor, only he could add to the huge excitement we already have to get to Kuwait. He has worked in his awesome way. After this time in Virginia I am so ready to get to the desert I can hardly stand it. I can't help but think of the Israelites and their time in the desert. I am learning to be content even in circumstances that are less than "perfect" The lesson is sinking in, I am thankful as I type this I am warm, dry, with my family and getting to go on the adventure of my life.

Being stripped bare is so humbling in many ways. I see now that for me this life in the Foreign Service is all about making fast friends, putting support networks in place quickly and for me as a Christian total reliance on God.